Poison and Wine
by Invisible Pheebs
Summary: What Loki had never seemed to understand that his selfish anger, his actions, affected more than just him. They affected the people who loved him, the people he loved. But what was worse, was that he knew he couldn't stop. If he let go of the rage what would he have left? But he knew, Loki knew he'd make it up to her, to his Sigyn. Somehow. ((Mild/May contain spoilers for Thor 2))
1. A Selfish Man and his Selfless Wife

_You only know what I want you to  
I know everything you don't want me to_

* * *

**Poison and Wine  
A Selfish Man and his Selfless Wife  
**

Except for the other men and women in their cells - the brutes, in heavy battle armour and skin marred proudly with scars - the prison was empty. Guards stood, on the other end of the corridor, guarding the doors and not worrying for prisoners. It was never anticipated, that they would escape, and so there was no threat. The air was still, and silence reigned - broken only briefly by the occasional footstep, shuffling behind the golden dividers. Sigyn kept her head lowered, as her own feet noiselessly moved across the black stones, flowing ice-blue skirts dancing teasingly across the floor with each step. The guards had let her past with no fuss, but then again, no one spoke much of a word to her now anyway. Only servants, or Frigga, if they passed her in the hallway. Sigyn supposed, no, rather she knew, that to be met with silence was such the tradition for a woman with a treacherous husband.

But in the past, treacherous husbands were not kept in cells, especially not ones finely decorated with redwood furniture and palace-standard cushions. In the past, traitors to Asgard and the Nine Realms had been killed, or punished in some excruciating manner before being let to return to their life. None, had been held, unpunished except for the solitude of prison. But, again, Sigyn knew that no traitor to Asgard had been a prince. Special treatment was bound to be different, for a man such as Loki. But then again, he'd also be able to charm anything from his guards. That wicked, silver tongue he held behind his perfect pink lips was probably the most dangerous weapon he wielded, and what made it more dangerous was that no one could disarm him of it. At least, not without evoking the wrath of Frigga.

Sigyn fell to a stop, the movement of her skirts dying and hanging gently around her. Her head remained lowered, waves of blonde hair hiding her face from view. From his cage, Loki stirred lightly, standing and walking to the glass. Though his wife could not see it and neither could the other prisoners, there was the subtle glimmer of joy in his eyes. It was the only inclination of his feelings, as Loki's face remained as unreadable as they always had been. In the air, Sigyn could feel the faint brush of magic dance around them. It tickled on her skin, but yet her blue eyes never lifted to search for the source.

"I never figured you for one who would hide themselves from me, my Sigyn" He spoke, finally. Loki's words were softly delivered but held a strong sense of gravity to them. His possessiveness, lingered in his voice also: mine, _my _Sigyn. For she was his, as Loki was hers.

"I could say the same for you, my love" she replied calmly, behind her mask of hair the pain showed in her face. Eyes shut gently, as though she were trying to will all her agony away.

"I do not hide from you, never from you" he explained, his black leather boots making another short step closer to the wall between them, shortening the distance between him and his love as much as he could. "But It would be unwise, to let these fools think they have won. To think they have power over me just because -"

"I know" Sigyn cut him short with another short, soft words. The rage was starting to weave through his tone, threads of his insatiable need for revenge woven through his body language. Sigyn had heard it a hundred times already, she had seen it in him since Loki had first discovered his true heritage. She needn't see it another time, to be reminded that there was that darker, twisted side to the man she'd fallen so deeply in love with.

"But do you really know?" He challenged her, as Loki always did. In his mind, the fallen prince knew it was a pointless endeavour. Sigyn had always proved herself, both when he challenged her and in the unspoken ways. Her actions. Sigyn was always proving herself to be the best part of him, the light in his eyes. Whether it be when she tended to his wounds, when she held him as he cried - furious sobs of rage and broken trust - or when Sigyn had simply been there, waiting patiently for his return. For his return as a prisoner. His crimes on Earth, the work he had done with both Jotunheim and Chitauri, it had made him hated in the eyes of all of Asgard. All except for her.

"Yes I do, my love. To keep your face, it is one thing they cannot take from you" she mumbled softly, moving to sit on the steps leading up to his cage. Yet still, she did not face him, though the raven haired man fell onto one knee behind her. His hand stretched, resting gently on the mocking energy between them. Loki could see her, he could see Sigyn for all of her unmatched beauty, and though he knew it was his, yet still he could not touch her. He could not place a comforting hand upon on her shoulder, caress her cheek or hold her close to him. Close enough to hear her soothing heartbeat. The only one that mattered.

"Yes, my dear. But what - i do wonder - have they done to _your _face?" He asked, pressing further to the point. He watched the muscles of Sigyn's back tense lightly, and her head lifted to look at him. The white light fell onto her full lips, and onto the barely healed cut that had split them. Loki's green eyes raked over the purple bruise, that blossomed on her cheekbone. Sigyn sighed and looked up at him sadly, the pain marring her face worse than any physical damage.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, and from inside Loki's chest he felt the rage flare into life and burn through his veins like poison. His free hand curled into a fist, and the furniture behind him trembled. Sigyn didn't have to wonder how much restraint he was holding onto now. She had seen him at his most dangerous and this? This was barely anything. Her sky blue eyes fell behind him briefly, and she shook her head, "No, my love, don't be angry. This was my own fault, I fell from the bed as i woke this morning, nothing more" They both knew she was lying.

"Sigyn, my dear, what have they done to you?" he pressed again, Loki's usually smooth tone barely containing the strains of fury and ice. His blazing green eyes met her morose blue and his wife sighed.

"It was nothing, Loki please do not be angry. I am fine"

"You are _hurt_. Who did it? _Why _did they do it?" and yet it was unspoken between them, the reason why. Because Sigyn was married, and still deeply loved, a traitor to Asgard. She was now shunned and unprotected. Loki's selfish actions had not only hurt him, but backfired onto the people that he loved, to the people that loved him. Even if he had never intended them to.

Sigyn said nothing, as silence was safer than further lies. Her own hand lifted against the barrier between them. It was a sentimental movement, for Sigyn could feel none of Loki's cool touch. She was left only to focus on the mask he wore as his face. Emerald hues, that were empty of everything except for the anger he still tried to hide. He tried to be the man she wanted him to be, Loki still tried to be the man Sigyn had fallen so heavily for. But it was hard, he was not the same anymore. It was true, that he was still a trickster and he was still manipulative, but the truth had brought out his worst qualities.

He had been nicer, when he was ignorant of everything. Of his birthright. But his knowledge had never killed his love for Sigyn. He knew nothing could. Nothing would dull the need he had, to gently scoop her face in her hands and kiss her so tenderly. To brush the hair from her face, especially as she concentrated in her reading. In the moments that she said nothing, Loki found himself staring at her face - beyond the bruises and pain. She had changed too, since they were first married.

She looked tired, and she almost looked beaten. His selfishness had caused her to be this way. It was Loki who had killed that passion for life, that had driven to Sigyn. Or perhaps, his actions and what they sparked in others, is what had killed it. Either way, the fallen prince knew that it was his fault, and he also knew that he'd never be able to stop.

* * *

"I am truly sorry, my Sigyn" he said softly, the heaviness of his voice setting the space between them. Sigyn moved, so that she sat a close to the barrier as she could, one side of her body pressed against it, and her back resting against the black stone pillar. He sat next to her, their palms still resting flat against each others. At the sound of his voice, her head lifted up, and it seemed that she had fallen asleep in the silence. Between them, so much was said with quiet glances and looks, that words were something of a tyranny. Words were cheap, and Loki had become so good at telling people what they wanted to hear. Sigyn treasured his actions more than any line he could think up.

"Why would you ever be sorry?" she asked, confusion genuine. Loki almost smiled, her heart was always so big that he was never at fault.

"Because I am a selfish man, and you have always been deserving of better" he explained, shaking his head - though the illusion of his slicked back hair never broke, even with the movement and truth. Sigyn almost laughed, but instead let her face fall into a simple bemused smile.

"No man can be defined by a simple word, be it an unkind truth or a gentle compliment. My dear, my love, if i were to be deserving of better, do you think my father would of let us be wed?" she smiled simply, and shook her head. In truth, it was notorious that Sigyn's father had distrusted Loki since they met. Her father had feared that Loki wouldn't appreciate Sigyn. Ever since, it had been a subtle joke between them. "I married you for love, and love is why i have stayed." Loki looked at her and smiled, finally. The grin barely twitched at his mouth, but she saw it.

"For better or worse?"

"Until death do us part, my love" she assured and nodded. Around them, the light of the universe poured through. Sigyn had been here all day, though he had spent a long time asleep. It often seemed Sigyn came only to sleep, because it was only with Loki beside her could she find peace. Not that it mattered to him, he enjoyed seeing her at peace.

"I am sorry for keeping you, my Sigyn" he mumbled his apology as she stood to leave. Sigyn laughed and shook her head.

"Please, it is the night that keeps me from you. I do love you, my Loki" she curtseyed low, and lifted the hood of her cloak up. It masked her face from the world, rendering her a finely dressed stranger. But it also hid her bruises, and her shame.

"As i do you, my Sigyn" he bowed low to her, and watched as her skirts began to dance again the black marble floor once more, until she was consumed by the shadows.

Sigyn walked briskly as she left the prison, the guards saying nothing as she left. They stared blankly forward, but it was most likely the nicest thing that the could have done, short of actually wishing her safe travel. Sigyn kept walking the streets, not bothering with a carriage even though it was dark and the streets were dangerous. More so, for Sigyn. Wherever she walked, people stopped in their conversation to stare at her.

She could feel their gaze beneath her hood, and so the woman held tighter onto the edge of her cloak as she walked - seemingly unaware that she was even playing with the soft fabric beneath her fingertips. Sigyn kept her head down, and tried to ignore the whispers that she left in her wake. Everything that could have been said about Loki and her had already been said, passed around in dull gossip, and yet every time she made a public appearance, it was all brought up once again. It was nothing new.

And when she got to her chambers, Sigyn sighed. The familiar fatigue that came with the walk home fell upon her shoulders once more, as it always did. The woman supposed she was lucky - Loki had been a prince, and though he had been banished to the prison, the Allfather had let her keep the chambers that they had lived in when they were wedded. Though, it was no longer custom that she come down for meals unless she was invited to do so. Food was brought up to her and taken away by servants and handmaidens.

Though, Sigyn hadn't had any appetite for so long. The dress she wore hid such things from her beloved, but Sigyn had lost quite a lot of weight since her husband's incarceration. It didn't matter. Sigyn let her cloak hang losely on the stand by the door, and her shoes slipped off from her feet to it beside it. From there, she stripped of all the impressive gold jewllery - bands, bracelets, belts and pendant - except for the single emerald green grin that adorned her finger. She collapsed into the chair, sighing heavily into the darkness and silence.

Sigyn's head lolled backwards, blue eyes casted up to the stars and she watched them flicker. Under their light, the damage to her face looked worse - the petals of her purple bruise meshing with the rest of her skin, and the red rawness of her busted lip looked an unnerving purple. Truly, in her frail form, Sigyn looked like hell.

"Until death do us part, my love"

* * *

Okay! Hi!

So, i may have discovered Sigyn fairly recently and realised that i loved her. So, in order to show this love... i started writing this darling thing. Now, this chapter takes place at the beginning of/somewhere in the early part of Thor 2. You know, where loki is still in prison? (You know, since she visited him in prison...) and it's gonna follow the structure of the movie without focusing on it' plot with Thor and Jane and the gang, and then hopefully if i stick with it, it'll last onto going past the end of the movie.

Reviews and ways to improve would be nice, or if you have any ideas you wanna share than that'd be pretty cool too.

thanks for reading!

-Pheebs


	2. It Was Only a Fall

_My heart is saying,  
"Don't let go. __Hold on till the end."_  
_ And that's what I intend to do_  
_ I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

* * *

**Poison and Wine  
That's What They All Say  
**

Sigyn had remained in that chair all the night. Sleeping with her head lolled against the soft, plush cushions. When she awoke, the woman could feel the cold gently nibble at her bare fingertips and she could feel the chill that had nestled itself inside her should have grabbed a blanket, or something, it would have been a wiser move than just to pass out in her chair. Or, even better, she could have fallen asleep in the bed. But she could never of done the latter, it was still awkward to be without him - even though she'd been sleeping alone for almost two years now. How time seemed to fly, now that it was over. But Sigyn knew that her journey wasn't over year, and nor would it be. Not until her Loki was next to her, not until he found herself in his arms.

It probably sounded weak to most people, that Sigyn only wanted to be with the man she loved. To be his wife once again, but it didn't feel easy. Having an easy task, and being weak, were similar, where they not? But Sigyn didn't think this to be an easy journey. Every heartbeat felt like it was someone ripping the heart right out of her chest, every action felt futile and to be a mockery was painful. Sigyn walked with her head down, and she spoke not a word to anyone. Some days, she was even afraid to breathe, in case it offended someone. How far had she fallen now - Sigyn was once respected, well liked, even loved by others. People held her in high regard because she was kind, she was passionate. It was only by marrying Prince Loki, did the whole of Asgard see her. But now, she was just another disgrace. People spoke of her, but no matter how good she was, they had forgotten that.

It made her sad, to see how people focused on the wicked part of someone's soul. But perhaps that was why Sigyn kept her faith in Loki, because she had seen the true potential and light within him. Not a lot of people had, and it was something she held onto quite viciously. Sigyn did it with everyone, she tried to find the good in them when no one else would. People said it made her weak, but she didn't want to agree with them. Was it weak, to cling to a gentle nature, though the world was brutal? Sigyn thought it wasn't, in fact, the severity and harshness of life made her only want to treat the world kinder. She didn't need to, but she wanted to prove to the world that there was more to a person than their love. But perhaps, Sigyn wouldn't do that today. No, today she just wanted to stay inside her chambers, perhaps play her harp, maybe even read something -

The door knocked.

Sigyn's head lifted from the chair, and she herself rose out of it. The knock was sharp, and though it wasn't a violent, angry thing, it did wield the sense of power and authority. Her movements were slow, sleep still holding a loose grip on to her limbs. She was still wearing the dress she wore yesterday - though she hoped no one noticed - and her bruises had hardly faded in the time she spent asleep. Nonetheless, Sigyn opened her door part way, standing up straight to greet whomever had knocked. A shaky hand tucked some hair behind her ear, and the wedding ring she wore flashed in the late morning sunlight. Sigyn's blue eyes focused on the person, and her mouth opened subtly in surprise.

"Theoric" she whispered softly, and the man before her smiled, he seemed genuinely happy to see her; and then the light cast over Sigyn's face, and immediately whatever professionalism he held broke. His strong hands lifted up to cup her face, surprisingly gentle for a man who was so strong. There was power rippling in his muscles, even in a movement so swift as to inspect the damage. Sigyn's own cold fingers lifted to his wrists, and pulled the hands away from her.

"My Lady..." he protested, and Sigyn shook her head twice, dismissing whatever concern he had. It was undoubtedly genuine - Theoric was an old friend, and he was one of her few remaining friends in Asgard. At one point, the man had even been suggested as her suitor. It was safe to say, that Sigyn's father would have much rather she married the Guard than the Trickster.

"I am fine, Theoric. I just fell, is all" she dismissed and smiled lightly, ignoring the subtle pain it caused. If need be, she'd heal it later. But something in Sigyn didn't want to have to hide her battle scars. She didn't want to have to hide anything.

"Then why does the fall look oddly fist shaped, Sigyn?" he asked, softening. He was no longer asking as a concerned guard, and instead as an old friend. But still, if Sigyn hadn't told her husband, then she could not tell Theoric.

"I must have fallen at a funny angle" she responded softly, and shook her head, "Now, Theoric i know this cannot be a social call. What do need of me?" she asked gently, looking back up at him. She watched as he lifted the helmet from his head, letting his blonde pony tail and single, thin, braid fall loose. Sigyn had sometimes remarked that the braid always made him look slightly feminine, but Theoric insisted that it was because a warrior had to be both strong and gentle. It was a fine balance between the two, which made greatness.

"Perceptive as ever, Lady Sigyn" he remarked with a gentle smile, going back to their formalities. Sometimes, Sigyn felt bad about trying to keep him at an arm's length, but it was for the best. Or so she told herself. Loki had never liked Theoric, and she tried so hard not to anger him, whatever the cost. Yet sometimes, she felt herself missing friendship. Of companionship that went further than her handmaidens, who also held her in some kind of disdain, though Sigyn only ever approached them with an open hand of honesty and kindness. "I come to you with an invitation, for the mid day meal. Queen Frigga requests your presence"

"Pardon, but surely this is some kind of joke, Theoric?" Sigyn furrowed her eyebrows lightly. The Queen? Frigga had admittedly, never been cruel to Sigyn even after Loki's imprisonment, but it was still a surprise, to hear that she had requested her presence. Then again, even Odin had made her the Lady of Fidelity after she refused to give up her marriage to Loki, but the King still almost refused to be in her company ever since.

"Not in the slightest, my Lady. Her majesty noticed you were looking a little lonely, and somewhat frail. She told me to inform you, that she regrets the treatment that the court has given you since..." and then Theoric faltered. He never liked Loki much either, and he shared sentiment with the rest of Asgard, and yet his duty of friendship to Sigyn had caused him to wonder how to refer to him. "Since your husband's incarceration" He nodded, at the end of his tiny crisis, and Sigyn looked upon him softly. Her blue eyes were warm and forgiving.

"So you thought to give me the message now, in that i might have a chance to get ready" she nodded, as he did in confirmation of his intentions. "Thank you, it was generous of you to do so" Theoric turned to leave, and she lifted her hand to call him back, "Theoric, one moment more" she asked, and he turned back to her. Sigyn softened, and she spoke now unto him as a friend. "Tell me, do you think her majesty would approve of my fall? Would it not be wise to heal myself first?" she asked, for once, subtle tremors of fear in her tone.

"Sigyn, you may be able to brush the truth off from me, and perhaps your husband, but I doubt the queen would take so kindly as to be suggested as being a fool. Anyone can see where those marks truly came from, and perhaps if you don't wish to tell anyone, then to hide would be wise" he advised and placed one of his large hands back upon her shoulder, holding her gently. "Then again, maybe the Queen would be someone not so... angered, by the truth. She may help you" Theoric smiled, and pulled Sigyn closer to him. He leaned down subtly to kiss her head in their parting.

Within moments, Theoric was gone, and the door shut with a low thud behind him. As he left, Sigyn stood there only in contemplation, the shadows slowly shrinking back to the walls as the sun lifted higher in the magnificent blue sky. Yet Sigyn felt as empty as ever, and her head lifted to look in the mirror. Her blonde curls fell flat against her head, and the dress she wore more hung from her figure than clung to it. Her eyes were blackened with lack of sleep, and the bruise looked so much more potent, as the sun rose through the curtains.

Though, Sigyn could see something else in her face. The weariness, the tired look in her eyes which made her look pitiful. Truth be told, she hated it. The blonde shook her head and turned away from the mirror, muttering scorn to herself. How could she have let herself get this way? It wa lucky that Theoric had come to see her so early, she needed all the time she could get.

Sigyn moved quickly through her chambers, grabbing various hair brushes and jewellery - included that which she kicked off the night before. She knew that Frigga enjoyed her company, because she had always held a soft spot in her heart for Loki. As he did for her. Loki held his mother in very high regard, she was perhaps the only other person Loki truly loved. But that still did not calm her nerves, and Sigyn made her way into the bathing chamber. Steam washed around her, as the taps flowed into the bath, though the midgardians would think of it more to be a swimming pool, or a jacuzzi. Sigyn smiled lightly, and lifted her skirts to dip her toe into the water.

The warmth of the water flew through her, and her smiled widened. Within moments, the water had stopped flowing and Sigyn wandered back to the small bench. She swiftly stripped of yesterday's dress, and let her wedding ring lie on top of the clothes that she had folded up. Sigyn moved to the water, the steam danced over her skin and she lowered herself down into it. Her breath escaped in a quiet sigh, and her head lay back, the water clinging and weighing down her golden curls. Her fingers moved slowly through the water, letting it run over her and patter in the silence of the bathing room. Sigyn spent so much time in silence now, and it was rare that she ever sang now a days either. It was just quiet, except for the swish of water over water.

Sigyn had always enjoyed the weightless feeling that came with being in the water, and so she swam to the side of her bath deftly, moving to pick up one of the many bottles of oils and soaps so that she might clean her hair. Her fingers rubbed it into her scalp, taking time to smother her hair in the oils. Sigyn had always taken time in cleaning herself, in her hair particularly. It was not the most impressive, and it didn't tumble like sunshine from her head, but it was hers and she knew she'd never look half as good without it.

Content with her first set of soaps, Sigyn smiled and moved a little way back from the edge and lowered herself once again into the water, allowing it's warmth to consume her.

* * *

Getting dressed, and the journey to Frigga's chamber felt much more like a dream than Sigyn could have thought. The lady had put on a teal dress, mixing her husband's royal greens with her own midnight blue, and felt the stars themselves fall onto her dress. She had always had a love for the night, star-gazing was a hobby of hers even before she knew the names and locations of the nine realms. She was even aware of the way each realm was to begin to line up. Though, Sigyn was never much of a historian, and she knew so little of how this would be more than just a spectacle of the heavens.

But the sky was nothing to think about now, not as her feet stood outside Frigga's door. Sigyn took a deep breath, and smoothed her hands down over her dress. She pushed the golden armband back up her sculpted bicep, and lifted her hands to fix - or worsen - her hair. Nimble fingers twisting curls around the moonstone and gold circlet. Her hair was lighter and cleaner now, and she'd put some colour back into her face. Taking another deep, calming breath, she lifted her hand to knock upon the door. Her head lowered again, as she waited for someone to answer, but Sigyn' heart pounded in her chest. She almost hoped - and let no one ever know that she thought it - that no one would answer the door.

But they did, and Sigyn's blue eyes lifted to the serving girl who had answered. She smiled again softly, opening her mouth to speak, but the young girl quickly ushered her inside. Following her direction, Sigyn hesitantly walked into Frigga's main chamber, where both she and Thor - the mighty prince of Asgard, and Sigyn's brother in-law - sat in waiting. A small meal was set out on the table between them, composed mostly of meats and a few vegetables. A broth bubbled lightly in it's bowl. Sigyn smiled, and dipped her knees into a low curtsey of gratidude and respect. In respect to her, Thor and Frigga rose from their seats and bowed their head to her with gentle smiles.

But as she lifted her head, Sigyn watched their faces fall. A breath of defeat exuded her, and she hung her head. Frigga rushed towards her, tilting Sigyn's chin up to take a closer inspection of her features. Thor remained by the table, but from behind Frigga, she could see the strains of anger in him as his powerful hands closed into a fist.

"My dear," Frigga spoke softly, her eyes alight with the motherly concern. Sigyn could have felt herself melt right there, and tears did in fact threaten to fall from her long lashes, if only she had not been so insistent in blinking them away a they pricked at her eyes. "Sweet Sigyn, who did this to you?"


End file.
